yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
as a side note pls kill me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
