question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
