if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
