Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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