I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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