Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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