And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
