jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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