Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
