This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
