I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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