love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
