My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
