Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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