my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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