Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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