the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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