You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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