Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
