there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
