Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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