He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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