I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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