That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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