i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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