Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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