he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
