I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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