How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
