Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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