do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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