Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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