She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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