Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize