im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The adults are the big ones right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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