How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
