Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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