Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
