butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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