No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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