How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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