i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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