shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
