i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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