Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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