He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
