Acid is not a monday night drug
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
