no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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