All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
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That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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