It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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