I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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