my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
