my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize