so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
