You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
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