Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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