If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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