Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
NoShamevember. You game?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
