i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
