TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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