As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
A bitchslap is in order.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
