You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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