i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
