the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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