i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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