yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
